I wonder what the world would be like if people had the ability to look inside other people’s brains to understand their thought processes and be able to identify why they act, speak or think the way they do. I think it will solve a lot of issues but at the same time, it may create certain issues that didn’t exist. Since this is an ability we don’t have yet….Speaking what is on your mind is so so so soooooooo important. Most of my posts are inspired by what happens in my life. It is my experience that I draw from when creating posts to put up here and this one is no different. Not speaking about what is on my mind has created situations with family, with friends, with colleagues that left me in uncomfortable positions. This past year, I have been working very hard at speaking what is on my mind ( and I don’t mean being rude to someone to get your point across, I mean using effective communication to get the point across).
So why is it important to speak your mind? Here at at least five reasons that I can think of –
1) Because it can relieve stress – when we go around carrying this burden in our thoughts of how we should have said what we wanted to say in any given moment, we are creating a sense of anxiety within us. We are living in the past because we can’t let go of what we should have said or should have done in a particular situation. This anxiety creates stress because we end up going over that situation again and again in our minds with different scenarios and outcomes. All of a sudden , one little change in how we could handled things become this monster that starts to eat you inside out. Speaking what is on your mind may be uncomfortable for that one moment but in the long run, it can save you a great deal of stress.
2) Because it can earn you respect – some people are naturally inclined to always say yes ( even if they don’t mean to) and agreeing to everything everyone says comes naturally. But in certain situations, if you fail to let the other person know certain boundaries cannot be crossed, that you will not tolerate certain behaviors, that you will stand up for yourself- this other person or persons fail to see that they can’t just keep pushing you around and continue disrespecting you. This does not have to happen in a demeaning manner, it can be relayed tactfully and respectfully. If you don’t speak your mind , that behavior isn’t going to change on it’s own. It is your responsibility to draw lines for yourself and make sure other’s around you know what those lines are. Same thing at work, always agreeing to take on more than you can handle isn’t really helping you be any more efficient, it is okay to speak up and say this might be too much for me to handle.
3) Because people are not mind readers – we live in a day and age where mind reading is what we read about in books or see on TV in supernatural shows and movies, it is not something that is a reality- at least not in our world. Mind reading is not an ability we have developed yet, so speak yo’ mind [ respectfully ]. If you want people to know how you feel , SAY IT. It is that simple, yet many people I have encountered ( including myself) have such great difficulty with it. SAY WHAT YOU FEEL. Yes, sometimes the person you are saying it to may not like it but in certain cases it is what they may need to hear. Just be sure to say it in a respectful manner. I don’t mean go around hurting people by saying rude things but to expect people to just know how you feel is like expecting pigs to fly( this is my favorite analogy because for me it really portrays the impossible, weird I know). In relationships that are close in nature, it is natural to expect the other person to know how you are feeling but everyone is wired differently and not everyone has the ability to sense other’s feeling around them. And if the relationship ( can be family, friend, business partner etc.) is close, why would you want to risk it by creating expectations that might not hold true. Wouldn’t it be easier to just let what you are feeling out in the open?
4) Because you can help others – by speaking your mind, you are helping others by either inspiring them to do the same or by helping them see a reflection of what the outside world is seeing. We get so caught up in our lives, sometimes we forget that we may think we are treating someone the proper way but it can end up coming across as the opposite. In cases such as this, if you can help someone realize what they are doing is hurtful or wrong, you will be saving them from a lifetime of doing the same thing.
5) Because it is the right choice – be willing to stand up for things you believe in! Sitting quietly and hoping the world will pick on how you feel isn’t a good strategy ( ever) so stand up for yourself, stand up for what you believe in, speak what is on your mind. Everyone may not like it but it is your opinion and yours only to have. Be willing to disagree on something that doesn’t sit right with you whether that is at work, at home or what you see out in society. Now this is not saying go around being rude but say it with integrity and say it with respect.
I have found that speaking what is on my mind has helped me become a stronger person and I am hoping it can do the same for others. Everything I listed has resulted from an experience that I have personally encountered and lived through.
I used not so positive experiences to write this because those are what taught me to actually speak up but I do want add this at the end – if you love someone, if you care for someone, if you want someone to know how grateful you are for them, how thankful you are for things they might do for you – SAY IT( don’t wait). Speaking up doesn’t always have to be speaking up against the negative, it can be about saying positive things to people we otherwise may shy away from saying.
FYI – Post about my trip to Brazil and Peru with a co- author coming soon- Stay tuned!
Source for images : Pinterest