Meant To Be

What’s Meant To Be 

Today, I want to discuss this saying “What’s meant to be will happen” or “What’s meant to be will find a way”. You are probably thinking what is there to discuss? I mean that is a pretty straight forward quote/saying.

But just think…the next second, the next minute, the next hour, the next day, the next week, the next month, the next year , the future is going to be a reflection of a choice we make. Every choice we make- whether it’s something simple or something complex has a consequence. Sometimes we see the result of the choice right away, sometimes it takes a little while. However, the choice we make now, in this moment, somehow decides what’s going to happen in the time to come. And isn’t what’s going to happen (you know what’s going to happen will happen anyway etc) the same thing as what’s meant to be? I  maybe looking at this wrong but I actually think that this saying might not be true or might be misleading


I have lived by this ” what’s meant to be” for my entire life until today. But now, I think that rather than relying on the existence of something such as “meant to be”, I want to start living with my choices and with the realization that every choice I make is my own and every thing that happens in my life, whether as a direct or indirect result of this choice, is not because it was meant to be but because of a choice I made. 

I do think that there are things in life that are out of our control. However, because everything is a result of a choice, the choice could be made by someone else and you just happen to be present to yield the consequence.  Confused? Let’s say you are on your way to work and get stuck in a car accident- that is out of your control but was that accident meant to happen? No, it may have happened because of a choice ( consciously or unconsciously) one of the driver’s made that resulted in this accident.  

Let’s take another example- stress. It’s something everything suffers from at one point or another and can be a result of situation that is out of your control. Now- what you do with that stress requires you making a choice. Are you going to let it affect your mind body and soul? or are you going to find out ways to relieve that stress? Do you see what I am saying…ultimately- everything that happens comes out of choices we make!

I have seen this quote being used for relationships more than anything so let’s talk about that. A lot of people apply this saying to relationships – you know the typical : if it’s meant to be , it will be. No it won’t!!! Relationships require a lot of work. You have to actively work at maintaining the relationship and you have to choose to maintain the relationship. It doesn’t magically happen on it’s own. You cannot leave it to “meant to be” and just put your hands up in the air in hopes of the relationship working out on it’s own. 

If a relationship doesn’t work out – I often hear ” it didn’t work out because it wasn’t meant to be”. No!! It didn’t work out because again somewhere along the way, one person or both persons in the relationship chose to give up trying or chose to part ways. There was a choice involved in this situation of breaking up. It didn’t happen because it was meant to be. Yes,  breakups can occur due to being in different phases in life, due to cheating, due to lack of commitment, due to finances- list goes on. BUT all of these things I just mentioned, do come out of choices the individual made at some point in their life. 


I often hear stories of how couples break up but get back together and attribute it to ” meant to be”. No, just think about it – someway along the way, either both of the people in the relationship or one of them made a choice to try again, to give it another shot, to work at sustaining it. It is a result of the choice, not because it was meant to be. 

I urge you to think further about what I am saying. Just give it a thought and be conscious of the choices you make because these choices will shape your future. It doesn’t have to be just relationships-this applies to your work, your personal growth , your education – you name it! Everything that happens is a result of a choice. 

And now that I have used the word choice a million times in this post, I want to say that I am sure not everyone thinks this way and that is completely fine. Everyone is entitled to their beliefs 🙂 

-Dhara 
Follow: