Detach

Emotional Detachment

I am as emotional as emotional can get. There is no other way to describe just how much of an emotional person I am. Now, don’t get me wrong- this does not mean I am not happy or I am always serious. Contrary to the belief, emotional people can have a sense of humor as well. I admit I may not have the BEST sense of humor out there, but I do have one. I always thought that being emotional was a good thing (I was in touch with my emotional side, I mean what’s wrong that?)  but as I got older, I realized that it actually isn’t. Let me reword it – being an excessively emotional human being can be a bad thing. I believe there should be a healthy balance of how “emotional” someone should be so that they don’t compromise who they are.

This is where emotional detachment comes in- learning when to distance yourself from situations and/or people is actually extremely important for self growth. This is something I have to work on- pretty damn hard! I am not saying you should practice 100% detachment but a healthy amount is needed for emotionally charged people like me.

Based on my personal experience – being too emotional, being too emotionally dependent, being too emotionally attached to situations and/ or people has not always worked out to my advantage. I think introducing a little bit of emotional detachment can actually be a good thing..

Here is why…

  • Protection from yourself 
    • Realities of the world are harsh. With news of rape, suicide bombers, ISIS, human trafficking, violence against the police, violence by the police, domestic violence, religious hate crimes, child abuse, robberies and so on ( I can sit here for days writing about harsh realities of the world but not today), it is SO easy for me to get swept up in them.  For example : When the beheading news broke out, I stayed up for days researching about ISIS, the first person who was beheaded, the innocent citizens they killed in the surrounding countries, to find out why they do such things and it had put me in such a bad mood because I could not shake off the sadness. The point I am trying to make is that caring for other people is good but emotional detachment here can allow me to step back so I can realize that certain things are out of my control and although I feel for the people affected, I can’t let it suck me into a cycle of hopelessness ALL the time. 
  • Let go of excessive attachment 
    • Excessive emotional attachment to a person or a situation is bad. Trust me, I speak from experience. Being too attached to a person or a thing can cause pain when things don’t go as planned or when expectations are not met. Excessive attachment also fosters fear and can cloud judgment.  Having a clear perspective in all situations that comes from a healthy dose of detachment can help nurture common sense and practical behavior. Practical being the key word! I have gone out of my way to get validity and acceptance from people I may be too attached to and now looking back, I know I should have kept my distance knowing they would never do the same for me. Those experiences have brought nothing but disappointment and pain. This is something KEY for me to work on. 
  • Be Stronger 
    • Having a healthy dose of detachment can help you be stronger in supporting others going through tough times. Getting sucked into other people’s drama comes easy for emotional people like me but being a little detached can help me keep a cool head and realize that not all issues of other’s are my own. I think being slightly detached can also help you give tough love to those who need it in times they need it the most! So not only can you be stronger for yourself but also for others around you. 
I am in no way saying that being emotional is bad BUT being excessively emotional to the point where it affects your daily living and causes your feelings to get the best of you is unhealthy. I am still very much in touch with my emotional side because it is a part of who I am but I know that sometimes I let my emotions rule my behaviors ( in a bad way) . Practicing emotional detachment just in the slightest amount can make a big difference. I have been working on it for a few weeks and I am able to notice a difference- a healthy difference. 
– Dhara 

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